09/25/2007
09/24/2007
Marque, we hardly knew you... (Austin)
Austin1234, September 24, 2007 at 1:54 PM
I heard the news today, oh boy….
She was my first Vox friend, and the most talented and dangerous. When I first read, “WTF is For Dinner” a year or so ago I couldn’t sleep. I knew there was a formidable talent in this community and I had to respond, as did so many of us. Marque could gather us in and put us square into her world with a laugh and a snarl; and with a style that had you dialing back for more. She made me want to write better.
People either loved or hated her, but they read her. And some posted that she was a fraud who made it all up; the drama, the stories of her abusive African American stepfather and redneck husband who abandoned her, the poverty, the divorce, the wild, wild energy that eventually took its toll. It drove her nuts when others did not believe her, and she could never ignore the critics and ‘haters’ as she so loved to call them. But she fed off of them and wrote even more raw and painful pieces, which escalated the doubters and empowered her illness. She sought the center of the hurricane, the eye, where it was calm and serene as all hell blew around her. Race car drivers and jet test pilots speak of experiencing this calm as they hurtle threw time and space in tin machines.
Towards the end she began to destroy the relationships she needed the most. It was a magnification of her illness, and many, including me, were players in that side of her illness. Lately it had gotten worse, and a few old friends felt the pain of her paranoia and disassociation. Only recently she had posted about overcoming the wild, wild ride, the incredible risks and manic mood swings that swept her across a different universe than the rest of us.
And maybe, in the end, as she left the motorcycle and hurtled through the air all time and space did stand still, and she found in that brief moment the calm she so desperately craved.
I hope so....
09/23/2007
RIP: Marque Thompson (Crush)
Crush, September 23, 2007 at 6:16 PM
I just found out about Marque's tragic death through my 'hood that knew her; Jenn, Jay, Island Girl, others. To you and anyone else that knew her on a personal level, my sincerest condolences.
I did not know Marque well. I'm not even sure how she ended up in my Vox neighborhood, but its likely that she left a witty, insightful or sexually charged comment on IG's or Jenn's Vox and I ended up at her page. We had IM'd a handful of times, discussing her children, her bipolar disorder, love, sex and depression. She was one of my first Vox "friends".
She mostly wrote of her troubles and depression. At least, that's how it seemed to me. I often was not sure what to think of her and her powerfully emotional posts. I wrote to her to tell her of my frustration with this electronic medium of blogging, which was new to me. I couldn't see how something as simple as '(((hugs)))' could have any positive effect on someone who was depressed. She disagreed with me, and told me that she could really feel them, and it frequently made her feel better.
She also often wrote of the lighthouse near her home. She would go there and yell at the sky. She would go there and weep. She would go there to think and to try to make sense of her life.
One day, after a particularly somber post of hers, I wanted to cry. (He-men can be emotional too, you know....) She was obviously in so much pain, and though I wasn't able to physically give her a hug, I wrote her a short note to try to encourage her, support her. Though I never met her, I told her I loved her. Not in a physical, or emotional way, but in a human way. I felt her pain, and I wanted to help ease it, in the only way that I was capable. I wrote this and posted it on my Vox, as she requested me to:
Marque's Lighthouse
Sometime tomorrow, ideally around sunrise, you should go to the lighthouse. Your lighthouse. The one you have gone to again and again to forget. Exorcise one last symbolic demon there, and let it all go. Make the lighthouse your place, anew. Recapture it. Let yourself breathe, and just be; rather than to forget or escape. Dawn will bring about a new Marque....much the same as the old one in many ways, but so very different. Let the lighthouse show you the way to the self you know exists--perhaps dimmed and blotted over many scarred years, but she's there. You know it. Underneath is the Marque that is worthy of--no, deserving of---love requited....Love in return tenfold of the love selflessly poured out for so long. Take it back. Make the spot your spot again, but the light now symbolizing a new path. One lit only by your radiance, and not by your pain. There it is. The lighthouse stands tall....showing you the way through the fog of painful nights to come....the salt of the sea mixing with the salt of your tears, but falling to the earth to make a pillar in the sand: Strong. New. Undefeatable. Worthy.
She thanked me from the bottom of her heart, and I felt her gratitude. She told me that she printed a copy and hung it on the corkboard by her desk. Months later, she IM'd me to tell me that it still gives her strength.I hope the copy is still there....hanging, with a single thumbtack. Perhaps, as a beach-kissed breeze blows through her house and whispers her name, it will rustle there on the wall and catch her child's eye. I pray that it will bring some modicum of strength to her children, for that is all I can offer to ease their human pain.
(((hugs))) to you Marque.
;-)
09/22/2007
For Marque: When the unknown touch you (Brown Suga')
Brown Suga', September 22, 2007 at 12:47 PM
This comes close on the heels of the tragic news of Marque's passing. I'm still stunned. I just went to her blog (via IG's memorial post) and sat staring at that picture of the motorbike. I'm still at a loss for words.
I never knew Marque. I knew her through my Vox friends, and I've read many of her posts.
I never bothered to comment on any of them, because, like many others, I found her so intimidating I was left speechless. What do you say to someone who traverses the universe in one blog post? Her posts often left me with a heartache. I wanted to say something to her, but my fear of losing guard over my own emotions with a complete stranger held me back. I do remember worrying about her a lot, and not knowing how to put that worry into words. So I decided to spare myself the agony and visit her blog only intermittently. Now I regret it.
She was so full of life, so open, so unpredictable, she both scared and impressed me. From what I know of her, I summarise she was this extremely loving, giving person who was consumed by an emotional avalanche brought about by her unrestrained mind - an avalanche that translated to extremely powerful prose on her blog.
[sigh] I suppose I'm not making sense.
The reason I'm particularly disturbed is that this hit really close to home - yes, home. For those who didn't know, my Vox is my other home. Marque was someone I met on Vox - she was such an intrinsic part of the community, and now she's gone. It's surreal.
.....
I'd always imagined that someone you don't know really can't touch you, but Marque did. It's like you're walking home all alone on a dark stormy night, when you hear the tread of feet beside yours that you think belongs to a fellow traveller. For some strange you hear the tread above the din of the thunderstorms although you can't see a thing; but you're just grateful to have company in such dreary atmosphere. And then when you reach your door, you turn to extend a hand to your companion - but he's melted into the darkness.
I want to thank Marque for sharing herself with us. But instead of something inappropriate about someone I barely know, I'll just cut it short and say that Marque was an important part of the blogosphere, even to those not in her neighbourhood, and I daresay she was a great driving force for other bloggers as well, and the one person I know who truly epitomised the phrase "living life to the fullest."
Rest in peace, Marque.
No, not rest. Fly.
Fly like you did in life, leaving the world in your wake and the clouds mere cottonseed wisps of their foreboding selves.
Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Cat)
Cat, September 22, 2007 at 11:29 AM
A good friend of mine passed away on September 11, 2007. She was in a terrible motorcycle accident. I just discovered this fact yesterday, and I have been trying to find the words to say to express myself about this. This is my memorial to her.
I still remember the first time I read one of your blogs. You wrote about getting into the cool neighborhood, and how you had burned your lip smoking the wrong end of a cigarette. I laughed so hard that day, and instantly I was drawn to you. We conversed back and forth here on Vox, I commented you and you commented me, and a friendship was formed. We had so much in common. Our kids, our craziness, and our love for firearms, though neither of us was a good shot.
We helped each other through so much, through email, IM's and blogging.You were such a good friend to me, and I want to thank you for that, and tell you that I will never forget it.
And now you are gone, and this world is a much darker place without your light, and your wit, and your humor.
You will be greatly missed.
Shine On You Crazy Diamond.
I love you, and I always will.
Marque Ari Thompson (Jenn)
Jenn, September 22, 2007
Even though we had our bad times...Marque was an amazing mother. At one time, she was my closest friend. She is no longer with us. I don't really know how to feel right now, so I called Berk and Elyse. Should I be sad for her babies? Sad for Steve? Sad for her family? Should I be crying because she messed me up really bad? Should I be happy that she is finally out if her own horrible misery?? She was on her way to finding herself, releasing her demons, should I be applauding her for that??
All I know is.....Marque is gone. Yet her sense of humor and love for her kids will live on forever.
Marque. Your kids, your family and your husband love you and will miss you immensely, as will all of us that would laugh at your craziness and your fun. You made me roll with laughter more than ever. I will always remember our stories. May peace be with you and your family.
http://www.charleston.net/news/2007/sep/12/motorcyclist_dies_after_foot_fall15647/
*see this vox for details on her services and celebration of her life.*
From Shush Now
Shush Now, September 21, 2007
Oh, Marque. I knew her way too briefly. We messaged back and forth and she was so understanding and supportive, I feel almost like I knew a side of her that no one else did. She was a mama bear that wanted to protect and defend. It breaks my heart to think that as her daughter grows older she won't have her mama to kick the asses of the boys that cross the line, that her family won't have such a ferocious defender and that so many people (especially here on Vox) will only know the rawness and bitchiness but not the tenderness and sympathy she was also full of.
She was there through one of my darkest times, encouraging me to keep being open and honest, to keep my life and open book and to scream a loud "F*** OFF!" to everyone who wanted me to be more quiet. Hell, had I let her she would have screamed it for me.All I can say is that in my short time here on Earth I've only met one Marque, and her leaving this world creates a vacuum that not many could fill. I hope she is in a bright place full of love, and that the people she left behind never question her devotion.
Originally posted as a comment to this post.
I can't believe she's gone for good (Lizzy)
Lizzy, September 21, 2007
My eyes are still teary and the news are a little too new for me so i don't know how much sense i can make here but i really really liked marque. i can't believe she passed. like jay, the backbone of my neighborhood is through her, like him, i also made vox my home after meeting her even if i had been around for a long time.
she was so human, so intense, so sensitive. she was one of a kind....i miss you, marque, but i hope you have found peace for that troubled soul of yours. maybe we'll meet again in another reality.
i don't really know what else to say but she was one of my first friends on vox and she was the one who made me think of this as a place i could stay.
rest in peace marque. i will really miss you.
Portions originally posted as a comment to this post.
From Jay
Jay, September 21, 2007
The first time I came across Marque's blogs, my biggest question was, "How the hell do I pronounce that name?"
Once that was figured out (okay, I never really figured it out for good) I was able to understand the real person behind the name...the real Marque. And there was quite a lot to it. She wasn't someone you "got" in one sitting. Some people had a hard time accepting who she was. At times, I had a hard time accepting who she was. There was even a time I doubted her entirely. But that was because I had never met a person like her before. I had no basis with which to understand someone as complicated as Marque Thompson. She threw me for a loop.
But oh, what a loop.
Marque (mar-kee...mar-kee....) taught me so much about what it means to be truthful with yourself, how to face your own inner demons and stare them down, even as they try to drown you in self-doubt. She taught me a lot about myself too, and it was on her blogs that I first learned to express myself in an open forum like this. Sure, I had been on Vox for a while, but I'd never really invested myself emotionally like I did on her posts. And honestly, I never have since. It was because of her that I chose to turn to my - our - Vox community when I had my own issues to deal with, and because of that I was able to make it through a particularly dark time in my own life. I made most of my good relationships here through her community, and even now as members of my neighborhood have come and gone it's the ones from her 'hood that are still the backbone of mine. I can safely say that, were it not for Marque, I probably wouldn't be here still. I would have missed out on the chance to know the great people I do, I would have missed out on the chance to know Marque.
And that's missing out on a lot.
Marque left our lives like she came in to them....unexpectedly, mysteriously, and on her own terms. I don't think there's a person in her 'hood she hasn't affected in some intense way. Anyone who's known her for any length of time understands what I mean. Chances are, if they are reading this that's true. My condolences go out to her family. But we've experienced quite a loss here as well. Marque, with all she's gone through and all the adventures she's taken us on, will always live on here.
All I can think to say to her is......girl, you go.
Originally posted as a comment to to this post.
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